Sometimes when I dream, I dream of your voice. I hear you whispering in my ears words of encouragement and hope; your voice is so sweet I find myself falling into it. Sometimes when I think I can't go on, I close my eyes and I see your smiling face, so full of laughter and promises.

Promises of a future that will never be, and a family that will never be. I open my eyes in the quiet of the starlit night. I can see your face in every constellation, smiling down on me in that way that you had that always filled me with happiness.

I return the smile, whispering softly, "To the stars . . . "

But on this night, your smile, which I keep safely hidden with me, only saddens me as I dream of things that can never be. I see the stars and I can only think of the time I lay staring up at them absently, my body numbed with the cold deadness of the sea. I think about how you had left my side, and I never even knew it until it was too late.

I think of the piteous wailing and the futile hope I had momentarily experienced; the hope that had soon afterwards drained away with your last breath.

Then I awaken, startled, as I hear the sound of breathing beside me and a warm breath on my neck. I turn my head, and you're once again by my side, visible by the moonlight. Without a word, you place your hand on my face--so warm, so real.

I hear the promise I had whispered to you on that dreadful night suddenly resurface. The message is clear. My eyes fill with tears--something they had not done since I had lost you. The numbness had so completely overtaken me.

But with your gentle touch and warm embrace, I can suddenly remember how to feel; how to cry. I remember the gift you gave me and the sacrifice you made.

"To the stars . . . " you whisper gently. Yes, to the stars and back is where we went, and where I would one day return. Until then, I had to live. For Jack.

The eternal beauty of the stars would wait forever.